


Romance? In Real Life?

by Hexadecimalrebooted



Category: Naruto
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 09:49:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15579222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hexadecimalrebooted/pseuds/Hexadecimalrebooted
Summary: Kakashi notices Iruka and Gai are in love with each other. Unfortunately, they aren't doing anything about it. He decides to do what any romance fan would do. He decides to fix it.





	Romance? In Real Life?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing Gai/Iruka/Gai and I wrote it from Kakashi’s perspective because I’m weird.
> 
> Set during the two-year gap.

Kakashi chuckled to himself. Hitomi-chan was such a sassy lady. It was no wonder that Yuhito was in love with her. Kakashi settled more comfortably on his perch. So far Mission Avoid Gai’s Challenges and Reread Icha Icha Tactics was a success. He would probably give in and let Gai find him later, once he was done his reading of course.

“Gai-sensei!”

Kakashi crouched down a little deeper, concealing his presence. It didn’t always work against Gai. He was incredibly perceptive in certain ways. It seemed to be mostly instinct, but he was unfairly talented at tracking Kakashi down. That particular skill seemed to become more powerful as Kakashi’s desire to be found decreased. Considering Kakashi’s plans for the day and the number of pages still left to read, Kakashi put the odds sixty/forty in Gai’s favour.

“Ah Tenten, my glorious and beautiful student!”

Kakashi should be immune to it after all these years but Gai’s voice still managed to draw his attention. He peaked over the pages of his book to see Tenten trot up to her teacher. She had an expression on her face the Kakashi recognized. He was on the receiving end of that look a lot. Except it was usually from a girl with pink hair. It always preceded some sort of exasperated comment about men being stupid in general.

Since Gai had been distracted by an outside source, Kakashi kept his focus on his reading. He made it through several pages before Gai’s voice boomed with extra enthusiasm. Years of practice had allowed Kakashi to learn the differences in Gai’s shouting.

“Iruka-sensei! Just the man I wished to see!” Gai said.

“Gai-sensei, it’s nice to see you,” Iruka said.

Kakashi paused in his reading and peaked over the pages of his book. Iruka sounded odd. Kakashi wasn’t as well versed with the finer points of Iruka’s personality quirks but there was definitely something in his voice that Kakashi had never heard before. Gai seemed to notice it too because he faltered for a second before ploughing ahead.

“My dear student requires aid that I, unfortunately, do not have the skills to offer,” Gai bowed dramatically. “I would like to ask if you would be willing to help young Tenten with her seals. I have been told by many people in our fair village that you are one of the foremost experts.”

“Oh!” Iruka looked stunned for a moment, his face flushed at the compliment. Iruka gave Tenten a warm smile. “I wouldn’t say I’m the foremost expert in the village but I’d be willing to help you as much as I can.”

“Really?” Tenten’s voice was pitchy with excitement.

“Of course.”

Tenten launched herself at Iruka, throwing her arms around his neck and gave him a hug that looked painful.

“Oh thank you, Iruka-sensei!”

“We’ll need to work out a schedule around your missions and my work at the academy as well as the mission desk,” Iruka warned.

“Can we meet later today to arrange it? I have to meet Neiji and Lee soon to train,” Tenten said. She was beaming at Iruka.

Iruka nodded. Tenten released him and bowed.

“Thank you for agreeing to help me Iruka-sensei.”

“I’m happy to help,” Iruka said.

Tenten took off at a run. A wide grin on her face.

“Thank you for agreeing to share your wondrous knowledge with my student!” Gai said in his moderate shout. The one used when he was excited but aware he was a very short distance from someone.

“It’s no problem,” Iruka was smiling but there was a strange stiffness to it. Gai didn’t seem to notice Iruka had spoken.

“You serve the village is so many ways. You are a most admirable and kind shinobi! You are a fine example to shape the youthful minds of Konoha!”

Kakashi could tell Gai was winding up to wax poetic on Iruka’s virtues. Even from his perch, he could tell manly tears were on the verge of starting.

“You are always so willing to help any young shinobi in their pursuit of excellence. A most competent and-“

“I’m sorry, Gai-sensei,” Iruka said. “I really must be going. Please excuse me.”

With that Iruka bowed and walked away.

Gai stopped mid-monologue, his mouth gaping wide. Kakashi expected Gai to keep going or shout some more praise of Iruka’s character but he snapped his mouth shut. He wilted a little, a barely perceptible slump to his posture. Really it was just a lack if his usual puffed out chest but he might as well have been hanging his head. He left the street at a gentle trot, the Gai equivalent of dragging his feet.

A flicker of movement at the corner of Kakashi’s eye drew his attention. Iruka as peering around a corner, watching Gai leave, a strange expression on his face. He watched until Gai was out of sight. Iruka slammed a fist into the wall. He hadn’t used chakra on it because it was still standing. Even so, Kakashi had heard the impact five floors up. Iruka spun on his heel and took off at a brisk walk towards the admin tower.

Kakashi had seen that look before. He tapped his book against his chin. Where had he seen it before? Not on Iruka’s face. And definitely not directed at Gai but someone, someone had been making that hungry-sad-desperate face at some point. Kakashi hadn’t seen it in a while. He wished he could remember who it was and why they had made that face. It would come to him and then he’d be able to figure out what it meant.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Kakashi was spying. It had been two weeks since the first sighting of “that face Iruka secretly makes at Gai”. He had seen in two other times. Once in the mission room when Gai had bounced up with his team and a diligently filled out mission report. It had only been on Iruka’s face for a second before it was smothered by his generally genial expression. The next time it was followed by a look of complete fatigue. Whatever it was, it was wearing Iruka out.

And why Gai of all people? Kakashi understood Gai being tiring. He avoided Gai’s challenges for a reason. Mainly because he was lazy and didn’t want to engage with reality. Iruka however, to date hadn’t turned down a challenge to Kakashi’s knowledge. The man was also so grounded in the real world it was depressing.

That was the reason Kakashi had taken to reading his book in the mission room. He was technically on medical leave with multiple fractures in the metatarsals his right foot. Tsunade had refused to heal him all the way. She seemed to think the injury was an indication he needed to slow down. Kakashi didn’t have the energy to argue. He had taken up a seat close to the window where he could watch the room and which was also right next to the air conditioning vent. The heat wave currently smothering Konoha was a good excuse to hang around and snoop. And his seat meant that Kakashi wouldn’t have to use chakra to regulate his body temperature.

“Yo, Kakashi,” Asuma said as he strolled over. “What are you hanging around here for?”

“The air conditioner is broken in my apartment block,” Kakashi replied.

“Ah.”

Asuma sprawled out on the couch next to Kakashi. He didn’t attempt any more conversation after that only let out a small, content sigh. Kakashi enjoyed Asuma’s company. He was a steady and calm presence most of the time. He also was a connoisseur of napping and being generally lazy when the opportunity presented itself. Kakashi got along with Asuma with very little effort by either of them.

Both of them turned their attention to Gai and his team as they walked in. They were hard to ignore what with Gai being Gai, their proud, moody Hyuga (although that actually wasn’t unusual), Gai’s carbon copy protégé, who was as loud and dramatic as his sensei and Tenten who seemed to be trying to keep them all under control through growls, complaints and yelling so she could be heard over the bowl cut twins. She snagged the mission report from Gai’s hands and waved the rest of the team away.

Gai hovered nearby, ignoring Kakashi and focusing on Tenten and Iruka’s conversation. Iruka reviewed the mission report, a smile curving his lips. He spent a few extra minutes speaking to Tenten before stamping it and handing over the payment slip. Gai flashed his good guy pose, complete with radiant smile and thumbs up at Iruka. Iruka nodded in acknowledgement but quickly turned his attention to the next person in line.

There was no sign of that hungry-sad-desperate face this time. Kakashi was disappointed.

“That was odd,” Asuma said.

Kakashi made a non-committal noise. He wasn’t sure what was going on yet. He didn’t want to share his own observations. Asuma watched him for a few minutes but made no other comment.

Kakashi was saved from Asuma and his weighted stare, by Kurenai wandering into the mission room, her team in tow.

“Kurenai, uh hello,” Asuma said.

He tried to look casual as stood and he walked over to her. And that was when Kakashi remembered.

It felt like he had taken one of Gai’s manly punches to the chest. _That_ was where he had seen that look before. Iruka looked at Gai the way Asuma looked at Kurenai. Kakashi pressed his face into his book and groaned. Iruka was in love with Gai.

Kakashi had to reevaluate everything that he knew about Iruka now that he had figured it out. He wondered if _Gai_ knew. If he did it would explain the somewhat odd interactions they had been having. But it was Gai. If he didn’t return Iruka’s feelings he would be mindful and gallant about the whole thing. He wouldn’t be showing up in Iruka’s haunts all the time making random speeches and even engaging him in conversation. Gai was strange but he was conscientious. So why were they both being so weird?

Unless. Unless Gai liked Iruka back but wasn’t sure if Iruka liked him! Then. Then it would be mutual pining. Kakashi’s heart gave a flutter. He loved a story with mutual pining. They were the best. But this was real! And he was going to get to watch them figure it out. It took every bit of his self-control not to skip out of the tower.

Kakashi was too happy to notice that he was letting out low, creepy giggles or that people were staring at him his entire trip home.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It had been three weeks since Kakashi had discovered that Iruka’s romantic predilections ran towards loud, spandex wearing, bowl cut sporting, Taijutsu specialists. He had been sent on a mission the same day and hadn’t had a chance to talk about it with Gai. He knew it would be pretty straightforward. If there was one thing that Gai adored talking (shouting) about was manly feelings of love. It wouldn’t take much to get it sorted out. It was almost disappointing. He would tell Gai about Iruka’s feelings and Gai, being Gai, would gallantly (and loudly) sweep the sensei off his feet. Easy.

“Eternal Rival!”

It might have been fanciful but Kakashi swore he could feel the ground tremble as Gai charged towards him. Kakashi decided the best approach was to hold still and let Gai have his way. He endured the emphatic speech about his hipness and multiple good guy poses. Because Kakashi actually wanted something out of the situation, he accepted Gai’s challenge. He made enough fuss and reluctance to avoid rousing the man’s suspicions.

After they both stood winded from seeing who could climb the most trees in ten minutes without using chakra, Kakashi figured it was the time to break the ice.

“I noticed that things between you and Iruka-sensei are a little strange,” Kakashi said.

Gai perked up immediately. His expression was a mixture of resignation and excitement.

“My Rival, it’s unusual to hear you comment on people other than your students.”

“It’s not like that, Gai,” Kakashi said, waving away Gai’s interest. “Most people don’t want me to pay special attention to them.”

“I am sure that Iruka-sensei will appreciate your special attention,” Gai said.

Oh shit. Oh hell no. Not _this_. Kakashi had forgotten the cardinal rule of mutual pining. Upping the drama. Usually with a second challenger for the love interest.

Kakashi sighed.

“This isn’t about my special interest in Iruka. Which doesn’t exist by the way.”

“Kakashi, my friend, I am certain that if you show Iruka your many outstanding qualities he will be thrilled with your interest,” Gai said.

“Gai, I don’t have a special interest in Iruka. I just think things between you two seem weird,” Kakashi said.

Ugh. Being the character in the middle of this was actually pretty terrible. Kakashi would empathize better with them the next time he read a book with mutual pining.

“I have… not noticed,” Gai said carefully. Oh. Oh! Gai was _lying_. Kakashi could count on one hand the number of times Gai had lied to him and still have three fingers left over. Maybe it wouldn’t be as easy as convincing Gai to sweep Iruka off his feet. He might actually have to work at this. Kakashi sighed internally.

Kakashi made a questioning noise and delighted in watching Gai squirm.

“Stop pretending, Gai. You’re terrible at it.”

“It began recently,” Gai admitted. His shoulders slumped. “I have offered apologies for offending him but he assured me I’ve done nothing that requires forgiveness.”

“Iruka is only a marginally better liar than you, so that’s probably true,” Kakashi mumbled.

Gai turned wide, hopeful eyes on him. Kakashi weighed his options. If he observed from afar it would be entertaining but likely disastrous. It was becoming obvious that Iruka and Gai wouldn’t or couldn’t work this out on their own. Kakashi was going to have to work it out for both of them. Such was the burden of the unsung hero.

“How about I talk to Iruka-sensei for you? Find out what’s up?” Kakashi said in an attempt to sound casual.

“Ah Kakashi, you are so cool and hip. Especially when you are showing youthful concern for those around you. You have a most giving and helpful nature. I could never-”

Kakashi tuned out at this point, trying to come up with a way to strike up a conversation with Iruka. Maybe he would ask if the teacher had heard from Naruto and then go from there. If there was anything that could get Iruka animated it was talking about the little knucklehead. Kakashi body flickered away as Gai’s speech started winding up into manly tears.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Gai-sensei,” Iruka sighed after this. “Gai-sensei is wonderful.”

The conversation had been going on like this for about fifteen minutes. Iruka couldn’t seem to make it past that particular adjective. It was funny the first few times. Iruka’s eyes would become unfocused and he would smile a little. It was actually pretty adorable. But they weren’t making any progress. Kakashi needed Iruka drunk enough to confess. Four bottles of some high quality (fucking expensive) sake later and they hadn’t made it past wonderful. Iruka was going to have to get to the lovey-dovey nonsense. Or at least the lusty crap. Kakashi as actually starting to get frustrated. This was supposed to be fun and _funny_ damn it.

Iruka swayed drunkenly in his seat. At least it was Saturday. Despite Iruka having no classes to teach, Kakashi was starting to worry about the sensei’s Sunday morning.

“But how do you feel about Gai?” Kakashi asked again.

“Wonderful,” Iruka hummed. He had his head propped on his chin. His eyes were sliding shut now and again. Kakashi sighed. He was going to have to write this attempt off as a loss. An expensive fucking loss. Iruka’s chin slid off his hand. He managed to stop his face from slamming into the table top but it was a near thing.

“All right, Iruka-sensei. Time to get you home.”

“Aw but Kakashi-sensei, I want to drink more,” Iruka slurred.

“You want to drink more because I’m buying,” Kakashi replied.

Iruka let out a little giggle.

“I’m sorry Kakashi-sensei, I don’t usually drink this much,” Iruka admitted.

“I couldn’t tell.”

“Are you making fun of me?” Iruka demanded.

“Only a little,” Kakashi said.

“You don’t seem very drunk,” Iruka accused.

“I’m very drunk,” Kakashi assured him.

Kakashi paid their bill and helped Iruka out of the bar. Iruka tripped, nearly spilling them in the middle of the street. Kakashi chuckled. Iruka giggle-snorted, then hiccuped which set them both off again. They stumbled down the street, supporting each other. They couldn't manage a straight line between the two of them.

“GAI-SENSEI!” Iruka shrieked and in a display terrifyingly reminiscent of Naruto, flailed in Gai’s direction. “Hello, Gai-sensei!”

“Iruka-sensei, Eternal Rival! How pleasant it is to see you both.”

Gai’s energetic greeting had a little less sparkle to it than usual. Damn, Kakashi had miscalculated. Iruka was currently hanging off him. Drunkenly hanging off him at that. Shit.

“I’m so glad to see you,” Iruka hummed. “I’m sad you weren’t there to drink with us! Why weren’t you there Gai-sensei?”

“Ah well, I was unaware we were having a youthful evening of imbibing,” Gai replied.

“Kakashi-sensei why didn’t you invite Gai-sensei?” Iruka demanded. He grabbed Kakashi by his vest and started to shake him.

“I couldn’t find him earlier. He can drink some more with us now,” Kakashi said with a smile.

“Yeah!” Iruka chirped. “Gai-sensei come drink with us some more. I have good sake at my apartment. You should come.”

“I would not wish to intrude,” Gai, ever the gentleman said. Kakashi mentally cussed him out.

“Come with us Gaaaaai-sensaaaai,” Iruka wailed. He stumbled in Gai’s direction and before he could fall to the ground Gai caught him around the waist. Iruka squeaked before humming in delight. He snuggled into Gai’s arms.

“You’re so fast,” Iruka cooed as he nuzzled his face into Gai’s neck. “And strong.”

“Ah, thank you, Iruka-sensei,” Gai sputtered. He looked so uncomfortable. Kakashi sniggered.

“I’m tiiiired,” Iruka whined. He gave no other warning before jumping up, forcing Gai to catch and hold him princess style. “So strong.”

“Uh, Iruka-sensei.”

Gai looked like a trapped animal. Panicked breathing and wide, wide eyes. Iruka made sleepy noises and snuggled in harder if that was possible.

“Ah, looks like you have things under control here, Gai.” With that Kakashi took off.

“Kakashi!” Gai hollered after him.

Because he couldn’t resist, Kakashi zipped around the building. He found himself a decent vantage point so he could watch what happened next.

“No! Gai! Too loud,” Iruka complained. Iruka put his hand over Gai’s mouth. “Shhhh.”

Gai froze, going completely still. He stared at Iruka with wide eyes. Iruka stared back, swaying drunkenly in Gai’s arms. He pulled his hand away to start tracing the shape of Gai’s mouth with one finger. He plucked at Gai’s lower lip and giggled at the noise it made.

“Iruka-sensei,” Gai began but didn’t seem to know what he was going to say.

Iruka had stopped giggling and had buried his face into the muscles of Gai’s neck.

“Gai, you’re wonderful.”

Gai let out a strangled noise. He seemed too stunned to articulate anything. Kakashi grinned to himself. Drunken Iruka seemed to be the thing to push everything into motion. They’d be dating by tomorrow.

A loud snore cut through the night air. Kakashi buried his face in his hands. This sort of stupidity he expected, even counted on, in Gai but Iruka, _Iruka_ was supposed to be the easy one to deal with. Kakashi had made sure to keep the drinks well paced to avoid this exact situation. Well, at least he hadn’t vomited on Gai. That had to count for something.

Kakashi would have to think of another approach.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * **

“Eternal Rival!” Gai called.

Kakashi didn’t bother turning in Gai’s direction. He slowed his stroll to let Gai catch up. It wasn’t necessary with the way Gai could move, but it felt polite. Or at least as polite as Kakashi was willing to get when it came to Gai. A green spandex-clad madman was at his side in seconds.

“Hello, Gai.”

“My rival, it is a pleasure to see you this morning,” Gai enthused.

Kakashi made a noise that could have been a greeting or an indication of some rather thick phlegm in the back of his throat. He enjoyed letting Gai be the judge.

“Are you fully recovered from yesterday’s indulgences?”

“I’m not hungover if that’s what you mean,” Kakashi replied.

Gai let out a loud triumphant laugh. It felt a little like a nail in the eye. Maybe he was hungover. They walked to the tower together. Kakashi’s foot was almost recovered so he could take a mission soon. He had enjoyed the vacation but he was starting to get a little bored. Distractions from idiots and their mutual pining aside.

“How was the rest of your evening?” Kakashi didn’t even bother trying to be subtle. Didn’t seem worth the effort. Subtle didn’t work on Gai anyway.

“That was very unyouthful of you to abandon Iruka-sensei like that.” Gai’s face was lines of eager disapproval.

“He wasn’t abandoned. He was left in excellent care,” Kakashi returned. “Who could take better care of him than you?”

“You flatter me with your praise!” Gai declared.

Gai was extra shouty. Kakashi took it to mean that his drunk confession plan had gone all right even if the main goal hadn’t been achieved. Gai did get to walk around with Iruka in a princess carry and he was still alive. Kakashi was willing to bet if he had tried the same thing he’d be missing a hand or a more entertaining bit of his anatomy regardless of how drunk Iruka had been.

There were a few curious looks and some general whispering as they passed. It was always a toss-up as to who made more of a stir. Gai, being well, Gai or Kakashi with his less than glowing reputation. Kakashi hoped it was about Gai and his soon to be boyfriend. He would have ammo to annoy Gai with and someone to keep him busy. Well, if they’d actually start dating. Kakashi would have to think of some more ways to try to get the two of them together.

They had almost made it to the mission room when they heard a roar of laughter. Because Kakashi always liked to get the lay of the land before entering a room he paused by the door.

“That’s enough.” Iruka the pitch of Iruka’s voice was angry. Someone was in trouble. And for once it wasn’t Kakashi.

“Aw, come on Iruka. It’s hilarious. You had Gai carrying you around like a princess in a bad movie.”

Kakashi recognized the other voice but couldn’t put a face or name to it. His eye slipped towards Gai who had frozen next to him. Gai’s face was passive.

“I was drunk and he carried me home. Nothing more,” Iruka snapped.

“I think you’re protesting a little too much. Just admit you’re doing the nasty with Spandex-sensei.”

Gai gave a full body twitch.

“We’re doing nothing of the sort. Gai is a gentleman and carried me home. Nothing else happened,” Kakashi wondered if he imagined Iruka sounded a little wistful. “And if I hear you implying anything like that again you _will_ regret it.”

“Fine, fine sensei. No need to get so uppity. It was a joke.” There was a pause and then the voice continued. “No one really thinks you’d actually want to take _that_ home.”

Kakashi watched Gai. His typically sparkling joy was nowhere to be found.

The wave of killing intent was sharp and had Kakashi’s attention whipping to the door.

“Get. Out.”

Kakashi had never heard Iruka that angry. He would be lucky to get away with just a quick chat with the ANBU stationed in the tower with the rage that was leaking out of his chakra. Kakashi could hear the idiots scrambling to get out of the room. They were lucky they left through the other door.

“Easy there, Iruka-kun. No need to lose your temper over idiots like that.”

It was strange hearing Anko act like the voice of reason but he supposed that was how far over the line the conversation had gone.

“Sorry,” Iruka mumbled. The anger was snuffed out of the air like it has never been.

Kakashi looked back to Gai, ready to do those supportive things rivals were supposed to do at times like these, only to find him gone. If Gai decided to ditch him then it was bad. It also meant the chances of Kakashi finding him before he wanted to be found were damned slim.

Shit.

Kakashi slumped against the wall. It was never this difficult or annoying in any of the books he read. Why was it so hard to get two idiots to admit they were in love?

“Oh, Kakashi-sensei, good morning,” Iruka said. He was smiling warmly. There was absolutely no trace of the rage he had been giving off or a hangover for that matter. Iruka looked as genial as he always did. He glanced around the hall. “Is Gai-sensei with you? I’ve meant to thank him for helping me home last night but haven’t had the opportunity.”

There was a faint blush on Iruka’s cheeks and his eyes sparkled.

“Sorry sensei, you just missed him.”

“Oh,” Iruka said, his bright eyes dimmed. He bit his lip. He opened his mouth then shut it before trying again. “Would you tell him I’d like to thank him then?”

“No problem,” Kakashi said and made his way down the hall.

There would be no more of this nonsense. It was time for direct action.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Kakashi was fully armed and prepared for his mission. The weeks he had spent prior to this on reconnaissance, collecting information he needed on the secondary target’s schedule were finally going to be useful. Kakashi stood on the roof of a building, his nose in his book, waiting for the primary target to arrive. He didn’t have to wait long. He had laid the bait for the trap that afternoon.

“Eternal Rival! I have followed your clues. It was such a hip and youthful idea!” Gai said. “It has been many years since I have been on a scavenger hunt. I have all the items you requested stored at the requested location.”

Kakashi hummed in response. Gai looked like he was in great spirits. His plan was unfolding almost perfectly. The secondary target was approaching.

“Eternal Rival, what exactly is it that we are doing?” Gai asked.

“It’s self-challenge time,” Kakashi said. The glint that entered Gai’s eyes was manic. “I’m challenging myself to see how many fish I can catch in the stream without chakra.”

“A most interesting challenge,” Gai cut in.

“You, on the other hand, have something much more difficult to deal with,” Kakashi said. Gai looked absolutely thrilled. That wasn’t going to last. Kakashi used a summoning scroll to pull up a stupidly large bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates. He roughly shoved them into Gai’s hands.

“Kakashi, what-“

“Here’s a script if you need it,” Kakashi said pushing a slip of paper in Gai’s hands. He clutched it as a reflex. “Now go give Iruka-sensei some gifts and ask him on a date. If you don’t, you can’t challenge me again for two years.”

Gai looked horrified and then terrified. Without any other warning, Kakashi tossed Gai off the roof. It spoke to Gai’s state of mind that Kakashi didn’t have to fight him to manage that feat. Because Gai was a Taijutsu master, he landed on his feet a perfect “T” pose in the middle of the street. A spot that put him directly in Iruka’s path.

Iruka startled. “Gai-sensei. Um, good evening?”

Kakashi wanted to know how that was a question. He also wanted to know why both Iruka and Gai were so damned awkward and dumb. So, so dumb. Kakashi sighed dramatically and laid down on the roof to watch. If this didn’t work he was taking a mission for two months to Grass. Or maybe Tea. It was a nice place at this time of year.

“Ah, Iruka-sensei, good evening to you as well,” Gai said. He tried to throw a good guy pose but almost lost the chocolates in the process. As fast as he was, Gai managed to recover and not spill everywhere.

To Kakashi’s never-ending amazement, Gai actually blushed. Kakashi hadn’t realized Gai did that. He figured whatever made Gai, well, Gai, has destroyed his ability to be embarrassed. Seeing Gai’s face all red was like having an out of body experience. Gai recovered gallantly.

“These are for you,” Gai said. He held the flowers and chocolates out towards Iruka.

Iruka bit his lip, then shook his head. He was looking at anything other than Gai. Gai deflated and looked sadly into the bouquet.

“When I told you I liked you, you said I was a dear friend,” Iruka said. Kakashi was going to kill Gai. Slowly and painfully one day. Iruka had actually fucking confessed and Gai had managed to fuck that up. “I understood that. I accepted it.”

“I am not a genius,” Gai said. Kakashi wanted to smash his head into the roof. Gai was so dead. Kakashi wasn’t sure how he was going to bail Gai out of this. “I am a master of effort. I never succeed at anything on the first attempt. I have never received a love confession nor have I ever been in love.”

Iruka looked at his feet. He was blinking rapidly. If Iruka cried Gai was getting a Chidori in the head. Not attacking your comrades be damned.

“I was unaware of how deeply my feelings for you ran until very recently. I am but a pre-genin in the ways of love,” Gai bowed and thrust the candy and flowers out at Iruka as an offering. “Iruka-sensei, please accept these romantic offerings and teach me about love so that I might show it to you clearly.”

Iruka let out a small sound of distress that made Gai ripple in his bow. Iruka scrubbed at his face and took a deep breath. He gave that hungry-sad-desperate look again.

“Lesson one,” Iruka’s voice trembled as he took the flowers and chocolates from Gai hands. “Offer me your arm and walk me home.”

“It would be the greatest of honours,” Gia said as he straightened. He beamed at Iruka.

“We have a lot to talk about.” Iruka sounded bewildered and a little choked up.

“Yes, we do.”

Gai offered his arm as instructed and beamed when Iruka curled a hand over his bicep. Iruka leaned against Gai ever so slightly as they walked down the road. Kakashi let out a sigh of relief. And that was that. Plan “Traditional Romance Trope” had worked. His three contingency plans weren't necessary. Mission Beautiful Blue Beast and Sensible Sensei Love Tactics was complete. The happily ever after was up to Iruka and Gai now. Kakashi was sure they’d be fine.

Well, at least until Naruto came home.

THE END


End file.
